You gotta fight for your right to have holes in your peep show booth...

Well gentle readers, a true battle of your first amendment rights is ensuing in the tiny town of Clarksville, IN. Southern Indiana is a land mass in the continential United States known for its inability to pick a side; the majority of the residents agree that the North had the right idea about what side of the Civil War to be on, but that doesn't stop them from speaking in a hickish dialect and only drinking sweet tea. Perhaps it is because they refer to themselves as really living in Kentuckiana... but I digress.

On this day in the local scribe, The Evening News, it was declared that a battle for Theatair X would ensue.
For those of you not familiar with the establishment let me take you back to a time when major development had not reached this swath of land. In your editor's childhood Theatair X was an establishment known for showing inappropriate movies, selling "toys", and being a rite of passage stop for all those who turned 18. In these days the "theatre" was tucked far away on a mostly deserted road and the folk who parked in the lot could rest easy knowing their car would not be spoted in the parking lot unless some other weary soul was headed to the same place.

Well, as a much wiser human being once said, "the times, they are a-changing" and even this magical land could not hide from the mighty fist of urban sprawl. Over the years the land build up until it was surrounded by Super Wal-Marts, Super Target shopping centers, row after row of strip malls, and such fine dining establishments as Olive Garden and Buffalo Wild Wings. These days your typical nuclear family setting out for an idyllic day of shopping at the world's largest Bass Pro Shop would be forced to explain to their children what the Theatair X was and why their grandmother's car was in the parking lot.

The mighty communities of Jeffersonville, Clarksville, and other towns that made up Clark County knew they had to nip this nuisance in the bud once and for all: enter a lawsuit!

Amoung the chief concerns listed in the lawsuit are these:
Clarksville Building Commissioner Bob Polston cited Theatair X in October for staying open past 1 a.m. In May, he cited the establishment for holes between the [peep show] booths, inadequate lighting, doors on the booths and not having a straight vision from the desk to the booths.

Any qualified lawyer could smack these arguments down rather easily.
1. Everyone knows it is too depressing to go to a peep show in Southern Indiana before you're good and drunk and can dull the shame (i.e. after 1am).
2. Isn't that the point of a peep show booth?
3. I sincerely doubt anyone in this joint is worried about the artistic effects of the lighting (sounds like the good commissioner had a bad experience...)
4 and 5 I must lump together. First you complain that there are doors on the booth so people can't spy on the peepers peeping. Then you complain that you can't see everything from the front.... what kind of voyeristic perv are you?

If you'd like to read a copy of this breaking story click here .

So readers, what do you think. Should this shamless hovel be put to extinction to save the children, or do the drunk/fat/lonely/all of the above citizens of Southern Indiana have a right to their badly lit peep shows?