Grandchildren, esteemed colleagues,
The Great state of North Carolina is responsible for many, many, many things.
We invented flight.
We cured racism.
We turned NASCAR into a legit sport.
Basically, we love America, and probably more than you.
Guess what else we do these days?
A little this, a little that, a little international terrorist conspiracy.
Yup. A real life white American, his 2 illegitimate half breed children and 3 other U.S. of A. Americans (but still muslin {the real, yellow kind}) have been arrested for... you guessed it, an international terrorist conspiracy plot.
As a real live southerner, I knew it would not be too long before the joint strains of anti-government (read anti-American, anti-northern, anti-east coast, anti-intellectual, anti-artistic, anti-gay, anti-etc.) conjoined with muslin extremism. I mean they both hate the jews, what an ice breaker!
But where others see only see the "negative" aspects, let me be the first to congratulate my southern brethren for overcoming the other crazy rural southern vice; xenophobia.
I mean this cat loved foreigners so much he went and scooped him up a child-bride baby machine from Afghanistan, a real lady who knows her place! And after that he even had time to join the jihad and rob a mother fucking bank! All in the name of that dribble drabble noise thing they call gawd.
oh yeah, one more crazy muslin terrorist is still on the lam.
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