Do You Realize Oklahoma Is F*&@ing Awesome?!

Since Oklahoma seems to be behind the times by approximately 10-15years (yes they still wear Umbros, No Fear t-shirts, listen to Billy Ray Cyrus version 1.0 and party like it is 1999 because y2k is going to kill us all!) it takes a while for information to get in and seep out of that great state. No worries, I have obtained this piece of rocking news for you all. Better late than never.

After a long hard-fought battle Oklahoma has chosen its state rock song. While one thinks this would be an easy decision left up to the Oklahoma citizenry, well guess again. There were two major obstacles. One, so many great songs! The song naturally had to be written by an Oklahoman, sung by an Oklahoman, about Oklahoma or a combination of the 3. Finalists included “Heartbreak Hotel,” co-written by Oklahoma school teacher Mae Boren Axton and recorded by Elvis Presley, “Move Along” by the All-American Rejects (thankfully, Oklahoma rejected them as well) and “Never Been to Spain” by Oklahoman Hoyt Axton and made famous by Three Dog Night (in which one cannot tell the difference between “Oklahoma or Arizona, what does it matter?”). After the downloads of the finalists and replays on their Napster accounts (which they had to pay for since they were unaware of this technology when it was still free), Oklahomans around the glorious red state (alluding to the dirt though political analogies would work too) made a choice…but that choice was not appreciated by the state legislators. Silly public thought they had a right to choose what song would represent Oklahoma in the rock world. Silly people, tricks are for politicians.

This leads me to obstacle number two. After the song “Do You Realize” by The Flaming Lips won in a landslide victory, members of the Oklahoma House wrote a resolution rejecting the psychedelic song by the hippie-dippie communist band. Now please don’t take offense. I am only speaking the truth. I reference this article and my proof lies in the picture! Long hair and a hammer and sickle t-shirt while on the Holy Ground of the Oklahoma Capitol?! Clearly screams hippies and commies. The good-hearted conservative legislators who know what is best for us all tried their damnedest to shield Oklahoma from the tainted reputation of a refuge for lefty Libbys, hippie communes, and psychedelic drug users (not to be confused with Meth addicts, those they support!). However, the Democrats sent in their secret weapon, Governor Brad Henry, to issue an executive order declaring “Do You Realize” as Oklahoma’s State Rock Song.

Alas, the libs prevailed but what do you expect from the home of Woody Guthrie?